What Men want

Fear of Commitment – How to resolve Commitment Phobia

Posted on by HelpwithMen

Heart-to-Heart Ladyspeak – How to overcome Commitment Phobia

It is generally believed that men, being the ‘gatekeepers of commitment’, are usually the ones that ‘suffer’ from fear of commitment. Men are simply believed to be more reluctant of committing to long-term relationships or marriages.

Both Men and Women can ‘suffer’ from Fear of Commitment

Yet, lately, there has been a new crop of ladies who are just as apprehensive of the same. fear of commitmentRead on to find out.

Our ‘commitment phobia’ – lady in question here will often be strikingly beautiful and accomplished. She is maybe also a little bit more ambitious than your average Mary or Jane. And, of course, she is fiercely independent and gorgeous.

She will be in her late twenties to early thirties, making bank every year with an impressive six-figure salary. She might also be driving a sleek luxury car. But she could also be in her late teens or early twenties, a college beauty to behold. In that case, at the prime of her youth, she’d still be learning how to navigate the murky waters of modern-day dating.

The “Luxury” of too many Choices

And it doesn’t just end there. She could be one of those seasoned professionals at the top of the corporate ladder. Being in her early 40s, she is still quite attractive and shapely (compared to her peers in the same age group). Yet, years of interacting with men of different facets, sizes, races, breed, and creed have made it almost impossible to consider settling down. The mere thought of a long term relationship almost creates anxiety in her.

Or it could be just you, yes you.

You see, the one thing all these ladies have in common is an almost unlimited number of male choices in the dating pool. And in the sexual market, for that matter. To these women, there is always a bloke in the next immediate corner trying to ask them out for cute dinners or a night out.

In other words, there are more than a few men clamoring for their attention or commitment at any given time.

But what happens when ‘Mr. Right’ comes along? The guy who sweeps them off their feet and gives them the ‘butterflies-in-the-stomach’ feeling. As anyone would expect, they will often be skeptical of giving it all up in the name of commitment. And, unlike in men, it is usually NOT out of fear of quitting the dating pool or ‘market’. It is always something else. Something more profound.

Suggested Reading: Why Men tend to pull away

But if all this sounds like you, we have good news. There are ways to overcome fear of commitment, any “commitment phobia”.

Any woman, including yourself, can learn how to ‘love him the right way’.

  1. Understand that the Cliche “All Men are just the same” is simply that – a tired, old Cliche

  2. Stop spending so much Time with your single, carefree Girlfriends discussing how Men are unworthy of Commitment

  3. Face your Fear of Commitment and strive to acclimate to the Idea of a long-term Relationship

  4. Focus on the positive Side of Things

1. Understand that the Cliche “All Men are just the same” is simply that – a tired, old Cliche

We live in a world characterized by stereotypes. Ever since you were a teenager you have been constantly warned of the treacherous and unpredictable nature of men. And maybe somewhere along the way you got the unfortunate chance of confirming this. Maybe even through the hands of an emotionally or physically abusive man.

Or maybe things just didn’t work out as you had dreamt and wished for.

Either way, regardless of how physically and emotionally attractive you find men to be, you’re still unable to get over the hurt from a previous relationship.

Well, it is true that some men are serial cheaters and wreckers of relationships. Just as there are equally unfaithful women. But each and every one of us is uniquely different. Generalizing things blindly without first taking the time to learn about this amazing new man in your life is the first step towards pushing him away.

Be fair, be realistic, and listen to your instincts. As women, we are innately gifted with the ability to analyze a man’s ‘energy’. As such, most of the time, we can tell a keeper from a player from a mile way. If he’s one of the former, at least give the fellow a chance.

2. Stop spending so much Time with your single, carefree Girlfriends discussing how Men are unworthy of Commitment

Human beings, especially women as naturally social beings, are always comparing and contrasting their lives with those of their immediate peers.

That’s actually the wisdom behind the saying, ‘birds of a feather flock together’. You can’t expect to get over your fear of commitment, your commitment phobia, if you are still spending all your weekends with your girls going back-and-forth over how degenerate men have become.

Eventually, this mentality that you keep drumming into each other will sink in. It will then destroy any progress you and your prospective partner are trying to make.

However, note that this is not the same as avoiding them entirely. After all, there are still your friends and you wouldn’t just drop them because you have finally found a man worth keeping around. Simply limit the time you spend with them. Especially, if you can’t help but engaging in idle banter revolving around your dysfunctional commitment issues.

3. Face your Fear of Commitment and strive to acclimate to the Idea of a long-term Relationship

Commitment, in any form, is a risk – there is no use denying that. And that’s why it is important to associate more with your married and engaged friends rather than your single girls. That’s an important step in overcoming the fear of committing to a man.

This will not only help you envision yourself in a fulfilling, healthy relationship but will also help you to acclimatize to the nature and realism of long-term relationships. In fact, it could also psychologically change your mind from thinking that swallowing the commitment pill is a bad idea.

4. Focus on the positive Side of Things

It is true that an undivided commitment makes you more vulnerable to heartbreaks and hurt. It does, however, also put you in a better position of reciprocating love and faithfulness from a worthy partner.

Doing so also makes loving them easier. This, in turn, increases the chances of him sticking around compared to the alternative which gives the man a guilt-free card of playing around. Men, being men, will inherently appreciate a woman who shows signs of making a dutiful wife. They may not even know this themselves. And one of the signs is unquestionable faithfulness and unwavering commitment.

It is only then that a man will make an effort to sacrifice his time and resources for you. Otherwise, he will always have in the back of his mind to possibly spent his energy on exploring other sexual exploits.

Overcoming Commitment Phobia – The bottom Line

A man is much more likely to remain faithful to a woman who has no qualms committing to him, than to one who prefers to be an ‘uncaged bird’ and free spirit. That’s just an evolutionary adaptation that has been etched in his DNA.

Also, remember that men are naturally more reluctant and unsure of quitting the dating market than you. That is because they are the proverbial gatekeepers of commitment. So if a man is taking the initiative to step up his game and offer his undivided commitment and faithfulness to you, then right there you may have found a gem.

Also read: How to get a Man to marry You

How to stop Lying in a Relationship – 7 Steps to make it Stop

Posted on by HelpwithMen

How to Stop Lying in a Relationship – Why we lie and what to do about it

Lying is something we all do on a daily basis. Many of us thereby do not even care about how to stop lying, not even when we lie in our relationships. We all share a version of our story or parts of the truth that we think are acceptable. We omit little details that could make other people uncomfortable.

It’s also common for us to hide our true feelings or exaggerate our talents and achievements. how to stop lying

Sometimes a lie is more comforting than the harsh truth, and how many times have we lied to someone so as not to hurt their feelings? Genuinely nice people may find it hard to pinpoint someone’s faults that they resort to lying; they would even deny that something is wrong. Things like this can backfire and cause more troubles. Although small lies may not cause lifelong repercussions, habitual lying in a relationship can be devastating.
Deception may also start as small, insignificant twisting of truths – such as telling your partner that you went to bed early – when you have stayed past midnight, chatting with an old friend.

The first time you lie without getting caught, it will be easier to continue lying and whatever guilt you have will slowly dissipate. Lying by omission occurs when you fail to mention important details in your story to create a misconception.

Do you often lie automatically when confronted with the truth? Do you want to stop feeling guilty and instead have a strong relationship built on trust and respect?

How to stop lying – Change will not happen overnight

When you are already in the habit of lying, change will definitely not happen over night but will require a conscious effort on your behalf. However, like any habit, you can also change the habit of lying. These tips will help you get there:

  1. Identify the Reasons why you lie

  2. Understand what Lying can do to your Relationship

  3. Reflect on your moral Principles

  4. Think before you talk

  5. Learn to accept your Faults

  6. Make it a Habit to tell the Truth

  7. Talk to a Therapist or someone you are comfortable with

1.    Identify the Reasons why you lie

Lying doesn’t mean you are a bad person, but it depends on the reasons behind it. To stop it in its tracks, you need to get to the bottom of this disagreeable habit. Women often lie about their age, weight, plastic surgeries, and so forth.

Both men and women often lie to avoid conflict and criticism. In an abusive relationship, women are forced to lie for their safety. Knowing the reason behind your compulsive lying will paint a picture of the type of relationship you’re in. Perhaps there are issues you need to resolve in the relationship, or maybe it’s better to throw in the towel and save yourself.

Read more: Follow these Steps to Save Your Marriage

2.    Understand what Lying can do to your Relationship

What you may think as being trivial can be upsetting to your significant other. Keeping a secret is also a form of lying, especially if you’re hiding something that would greatly affect them.

The convenience of making up a lie often causes us to justify the act. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, would it hurt to know that you have been lied to? Keeping the truth from someone you love creates wounds. And of the many types of emotional wounds, betrayal is the hardest to heal.

3.    Reflect on your moral Principles

Someone with self-respect values honesty. Having integrity is an admirable trait. We respect influential people for their authenticity. We consider them role models – the movers and shakers in a structured society – and they are the ones who could make change happen.

It’s time for you to question if this rings true to you. Who do you consider as role models? What can you learn from them? Rebuilding trust is not an easy road, and some doesn’t even get to the end of it. Before you compromise your relationship, look yourself in the mirror and decide how badly you want to stop lying.

Read More: How to Get a Boyfriend you like

4.    Think before you talk

It’s a slippery slope when you started lying in a relationship, you will be tempted to do it again and again – until it’s all downhill from there. If lying is deeply entrenched in you, you will lie unconsciously when asked.

You have to be aware of the patterns that causes you to lie. Before you answer your partner or tell a story – think of the things you want to say. Are you being honest? The truth may hurt for a while, but a lie can ruin a person forever.

5.    Learn to accept your Faults

We all make mistakes, and we often fabricate a different version of the truth to hide these mistakes. It is our fear of not being accepted that makes us trying to hide these mistakes. We despise judgement. The worst thing to do is to deny when you are caught in the act of lying.

There’s a certain degree of freedom when you finally admit the truth. Don’t keep a guilt-ridden conscience for the rest of your life. Give yourself and your loved ones, the peace of mind you both deserve. Don’t give up. You are already working on how to stop lying. You are on a good way to change things for the better.

6.    Make it a Habit to tell the Truth

After this long read, unfortunately, you won’t instantly turn into an honest person. It will take a lot of hard work to keep lying even just to a minimum. Worse, if bridges have already been burned, and you’ve lost the person you love because of lying, you might not get them back.

But don’t let deceit immobilize you. Remember that no matter how bleak you feel your situation is, you can still recover from that habit. You must, however, put in continuous efforts, day in and day out.

7.    Talk to a Therapist or someone you are comfortable with

Do you still wonder how to stop lying? Are you still finding it hard to be honest no matter how much you try? You might need to consult a therapist. Confiding to a trusted friend or a support group will also help. The fact that you are willing to correct your mistakes means you are redeemable, and you understand the devastating effects of lying in a relationship.

How to stop lying in a Relationship – Conclusion

The little lies we tell everyday may seem harmless at first, but they can do more damage in the long run. It interferes with the quality of relationships we have with other people, and provides additional stress because of feelings of guilt and anxiety.

Relationships should be built on mutual trust and understanding, but it has always been a struggle for two people in love to bare everything and risk being vulnerable. It’s probably safe to say that a good foundation for any relationship is self-awareness. Know yourself and be true to yourself. Because everything starts with you.

How to get a Boyfriend – Get a new Boyfriend now!

Posted on by HelpwithMen

Tired of being Single? Learn the best Tips on How to get a Boyfriend fast!

So, you are single and trying to figure out how to get a boyfriend in your life. You are watching your friends go out on dates with their boyfriends while you sit at home. You are lonely and wanting a companion, now more than ever. The bad news is, you are all alone – the good news is, you don’t have to be!  how to get a boyfriend

For most girls, one of the most important questions is usually related to how to get a boyfriend in high school or college.

We have a collection of some of the very best tips and tricks on how to get a boyfriend if you are shy.

 

Here is a List of 14 Top Tips to Follow:

  1. Appearance first!

  2. Make a good impression

  3. Be welcoming

  4. Be attentive to him

  5. Become his friend first

  6. Make yourself approachable

  7. Offer a smile

  8. Check him out

  9. Seek compatibility

  10. Be attentive to him

  11. Get close to him

  12. Show your true self

  13. Appreciate him

  14. Whatever you do – take it slow

1. Appearance First!

One of the best tips that I can offer you is to take care of yourself. The thing that most people notice when they first meet someone new is how they look.

If you have a clean, neat appearance you are more likely to attract someone. Getting past a slovenly appearance is difficult. Pay attention to what you wear around that special guy. You will always want to look neat and tidy. No guy wants to go out with someone who has no self-respect.

Keeping fit is another good tip for meeting the man of your dreams. Getting plenty of exercise and eating the right foods will ensure that you are physically appealing to any man, which is an important factor in what makes a man fall in love. An added benefit to eating the right food is that your hair will shine and your skin will glow.

tips on how to get a boyfriend

2. Make a Good Impression

The thing that most people notice when they first meet someone is how the person looks. If you have a clean and neat appearance you are more likely to attract someone. It is hard to get past a slovenly exterior. How you look says a lot about who you are.

Wondering what really makes a man fall in love? The truth is, a guy will notice your appearance long before he gets to know you. Keep yourself clean and make sure you wear nice clothes. You will attract his attention by making yourself completely irresistible.

Keeping fit is another good tip for meeting the man of your dreams. Getting plenty of exercises and eating the right foods will ensure that you are physically appealing to any man. An added benefit to eating right is that your hair will shine and your skin will glow.

3. Be Welcoming

When you are attracted to someone, it is important that you have a friendly vibe. Making yourself approachable is important in the world of dating. If you seem rude or unfriendly, then he will prefer to stay away from you.

If the guy you like is a bit shy and reclusive, then you may want to go ahead and start the conversation. Once he sees how friendly you are he will then relax and start opening up.

suggested presentation on getting into a new relationship

Click here to watch this incredible free presentation on how to be absolutely irresistible to him!

4. Be Attentive to Him

When you first get to know him pay close attention to the things that he says, what he likes, or shows interest in. Then find out as much as you can about those things.

One good tip is to buy some tickets to his favorite sports game or even to find concert tickets for his favorite music group. This will not only get him really excited, but it will also give you a chance to casually go out with him. He won’t even know what hit him.

5. Become his Friend first

Becoming his friend first will ensure closeness between the two of you. You wonder how to make a man love you? Successful relationships usually start with the couple being friends first. Besides, think of how much fun it will be getting to know him better.

It is important that the potential boyfriend knows you first as a friend, and you should seek to encourage this if you are truly interested in understanding how to make a man love you.

Building on your friendship helps you develop a high degree of trust, which will serve your relationship well in the following weeks and months. Friendship will not only make a guy like you but also help both of you to discover more about each other and what you consider to be important.

6. Make yourself Approachable

Men, in general, consider being approachable as one of the top traits in a lady. A man will hesitate to come and talk to you if he believes that you are not approachable.

Being approachable is a trait that should be developed and worked on, as you never know when the man you are interested in will make an appearance and seek to talk to you.

If you do catch the eye of a very shy man, you may have to make the first move. That’s alright, just slowly make your way over to him and let him see what a friendly and outgoing person you are.

7. Offer a Smile

This one is really important when trying to get a great guy. A lady who is not afraid to offer a smile once in a while to the man she is interested in stands a better chance of getting him as a boyfriend. The message that you communicate to him when you smile and look into his eyes is that he can proceed if he wishes.

Most men are left with a lingering memory of this encounter, and this helps them develop a curiosity.

8. Check him out

It is always important to make sure that a potential boyfriend doesn’t already have a girlfriend. It is not appropriate to seek out somebody who is already in a relationship. Hence, before you embark on winning him over for yourself, find out if he is in fact already spoken for.

9. Seek Compatibility

Another top secret on how to get a boyfriend revolves around the issue of compatibility, which is very important to men as well.

If you’re interested in a guy, get to know his interests, and then let him know if there are any areas of common or shared interests. This simply helps the guy to appreciate the fact that thus far, you are the ideal partner for him as a girlfriend and eventually as a wife.

10. Be Attentive to Him

When you first get to know him pay close attention to the things that he says he likes or shows an interest in. Then find out as much as you can about those things. Having a common ground will give you a starting point to develop a relationship with that special guy.

11. Get Close to Him

The best way to develop a relationship with someone is to get close to that person first. The best start to learn how to make a guy fall in love with you is by just hanging out with him. And before you know it the sparks will fly.

Whatever you do, take it slow. Don’t let a guy think, even for one minute, that he might be pressured into a serious relationship with you. Sneak into a relationship with him by being his friend. Chemistry will take over from there.

You will probably make lots of mistakes when learning how to get a boyfriend. If you slowly integrate yourself into his life by becoming his friend it won’t be long before he is thinking of you as so much more.

12. Show your True Self

As a lady, you should always work on being interesting while remaining true to yourself. It helps in making and keeping a man interested in you.

It is important that the lady, while being interesting, remains true to herself rather than put on a personality that is not hers, only for the man to discover who she really is later on.

13. Appreciate Him

Men usually have relatively bigger egos than most ladies. The target of the girl should always be to make him feel appreciated by satisfying his ego.

If you are constantly crushing his ego, it could lead to a situation where the relationship is damaged, as his perception will be that he is not being appreciated, no matter what he does. However, you must also expect appreciation from him and this is where good communication comes in.

14. Whatever you do – Take it Slow

If a guy feels pressured into a serious relationship even just for a minute, he will try to pull away.

Figuring out how to get a boyfriend is not always easy. You will need to go through a lot of “not so great guys” before you find the right guy. Really understanding how to get a boyfriend by following the above tips will help you greatly. That way, you will soon be looking into the eyes of the man of your dreams.

Also read: Make Him Commit

How to Get a Man … find a good Man in 7 easy Steps!

Posted on by HelpwithMen

The best Tips on How to Get a Man … a good Man, that is!

It is really not very easy for a woman to find a ‘decent’ man, neither is it easy for a man to find a ‘good’ woman. It is equally difficult for a woman to actually find some good tips on how to get a man while making sure she connects with the right person, with a ‘good’ man.how to get a man

Isn’t it tiring to continually fall in love with men who hurt us and take us women for granted?

This article will give you tips on how to avoid such landmines.

We will show you how to catch a great guy who will love and appreciate you the way you deserve.

Here are Our TOP 7 Tried and True Tips on How to Find a Good Man for a Lasting Partnership:

  1. Be yourself around the man you are trying to attract

  2. Have your own fulfilling life

  3. Trust issues are the fastest way to lose a good man

  4. Relax, be cool and take things easy

  5. Ask yourself – why do I want a man in my life?

  6. You want to learn how to get a man? Then it’s time to quit playing games!

  7. Treat the man you intend to attract with respect

Also read: How to make a Guy fall in Love with you

1. Be Yourself Around the Man You are Trying to Attract

When you meet a man you are attracted to for the very first time, avoid putting on an act or any kind of facade. Although there is nothing wrong with trying to make a good impression, avoid taking it too far as this may in turn repel a man, simply because you may be trying too hard.

You want to attract a man because you are being authentic and real, otherwise they will be attracted to an act you are putting on, and not the ‘real you’.

The first time you meet a man who is attracted to you is your chance to show yourself in the best light – be genuine. Smile and be unique; avoid being too friendly and don’t flirt excessively.

2. Have Your Own Fulfilling Life

Dramatic or extremely clingy relationships can be the result of a woman desperately looking for a man to complete her.

Over time, many women tend to become obsessed by the question of how to get a man. Are you the same?

Even if you have low self-esteem because of failed past relationships, it is very important to work on rebuilding it. In the meantime, try to pursue your own goals. Stay focused and concentrate on your own goals instead of obsessing over how to get a man into your life.

When you have your own fulfilled life, you create the impression that you are a more complete person with your own independent dreams and goals, and all you need is a partner to love and accentuate what you already are as an individual.

Men love the feeling that their women have their own life, their “act” together. So if you want to learn how to get a man, you need to ensure that you have a complete life yourself.

What are indicators that you have a fulfilled life that a good man will admire?

A woman that is living her own, fulfilled life …

  • is capable of making sound decisions on her own
  • has her own friends and a life away from the relationship
  • has other personal goals aside from being in a relationship, such as climbing the career ladder or building their own business

recommended video presentation on finding a man for life

Click here to watch this incredible free presentation on how to be absolutely irresistible to him!

3. Trust Issues are the Fastest Way to Lose a Good Man

Trusting your man, even in the early stages of your relationship, shows that you have confidence in yourself and that you are trustworthy.

When a man shows you that he has feelings for you and he starts showing you some sort of commitment, avoid showing any major distrust, especially when the relationship is still new.

The first thing that will make a man run away is expressing a lack of trust in him. If you are intending to build a long-term relationship with a good man, you need to tell him when you feel like there is something to clarify. This will work better than spying and snooping on your partner, which will only make them lose trust in you.

When you communicate openly about your insecurities, you get to the bottom of any and all issues much faster. And equally importantly, you will not come across as ‘crazy’ or as being too possessive!

4. Relax, be Cool and Take Things Easy

The last thing any good man wants or needs is a moody, clingy and controlling woman. What men are looking for instead is a reasonable, sensible, fun and loving woman who is able to enjoy a great time with her partner.

Everyone has a lot going on in their own lives nowadays, so avoid being a ‘drama queen’ who transforms even the simplest situation into an opportunity for ‘drama’, to argue or fight. A man will lose interest very quickly if being with you is difficult rather than enjoyable for him.

Here are a few great ways to ensure your time with the man you want is relaxing and enjoyable:

  • Show concern and affection, for instance by giving him a back-massage after a rough day instead of consistently complaining about your own bad experiences during the day
  • Reciprocate any good gestures he may initiate
  • Create a comfortable environment that promotes open and sincere communication. When a man is comfortable around you it boosts the chances of making you not only his lover, but also his friend. Love and friendship are a perfect combination to attract and keep a good man around!

By the way, in case the person you are interested in is already a friend of yours, don’t be shy to make the first step in getting closer to him. Read this post here in case you are not sure how to ask a friend out.

5. Ask Yourself – Why do I Want a Man in My Life?

The last thing you want is to get a man for the wrong reasons. Do that and you will most likely end up attracting the wrong man, or treating a good guy the wrong way.

If you wonder how to find a man only because you need a man to fill a void or in order to not be lonely then you should first take some time with yourself. The best situation in life to find a good man is when your mental state is clear and relaxed. If you are looking for a good and healthy relationship, you need to look to find a man for the right reasons.

You wonder what some of these right intentions could be? Simple! They include:

  • Seeking companionship
  • Looking for a life partner
  • Looking for a friend who will be your confidant

6. You Want to Learn How to Get a Man? Then it’s Time to Quit Playing Games!

No man wants a woman who is playing head-games all the time. When a man realizes that you are playing head games, it is an indication that you are deceptive and likely to hurt him in the long run.

Playing head-games is the fastest way to make a good man run away. The most effective way of avoiding games is open and sincere communication.

7. Treat the Man You Intend to Attract with Respect

This is one of most important things a woman needs to follow when trying to understand how to get a man and keep him. The last thing any man wants is a woman who emasculates him, be it in private or in public.

Help the partner of your choice to feel good about himself! What many women don’t realize is that most men are just as insecure as they are. So, when you are in the presence of his family and friends, take the opportunity to brag about your man. Doing so will make him feel wanted and appreciated.

Final Thoughts

Don’t obsess over trying to figure out how to make a guy like you and how to get into a relationship. Don’t attempt to turn your life completely upside-down just because you cannot find a good man right away.

Be patient. Live a fulfilled life and also respect yourself – it is the only way you will find a great guy who, in turn, will love and respect you for what you are.

Read also: How to get a Boyfriend and more Relationship Advice for Women

Why Men Pull Away in a Relationship – And how to Stop them

Posted on by HelpwithMen

Have you ever felt frustrated because you can’t get a man to commit to you fully? Do you wonder why men pull away, instead of getting closer to you in your relationship?

You’ve tried everything, cooked, cleaned the house in suspenders, had you hair done, appeased him sexually, accompanied him to the football game.

But yet, you experience the same pattern in all of your relationships, everything appears to be going great in your eyes, and then he starts to pull away! He becomes distant, stops calling as much as he used to, the affection comes to a halt, and before you know it, you are having that talk where he says, “It’s not you, it’s me!”

why men pull away

He may not even have the courage to tell you face-to-face; you hang up the phone in a flood of tears, get together with the girls, eat loads of ice-cream and chocolate, and have a grand pity party!

Why Men Pull Away – Tried and True Techniques to make Him Stop pulling away

After a few months, you decide to try again; you get your heels on, get glammed up and hit the town in search of Mr. Right! Does this sound familiar? If you can relate to any of these points, then keep reading.

After a string of failed relationships, I too got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and decided to turn things around in my life. After copious amounts of research, I discovered that there were tried, tested and proven techniques that will make men fall head-over-heels in love with you.

With a minimal amount of effort, you will have men eating out the palm of your hand in no time at all. Keep reading to find out why men often pull away in their relationships and how you can become the woman of his dreams that will keep him around.

  1. Know what you want

  2. Remain unique

  3. Get over it

  4. Emotional intelligence

  5. Why men pull away – final thoughts

1. Know What You Want

When you know what you want out of life and you are not prepared to compromise, it makes you extremely attractive.

When you have a clear-cut goal for your life, understand your purpose and you are taking strides towards your dreams, you will begin to attract all that you want out of life.

Your life is all about becoming the best that you can be. When you are uncertain of who you are, and what you want, you fall into relationships where you are always only supporting the man at your side.

Have you not noticed that the men you attract are not quite certain of what they want out of life? You then become a crutch to them, supporting them as they attempt to fulfill one of their many goals, that don’t seem to go anywhere.

Like attracts like, and if you are not living your life driven towards your purpose, you are going to attract men with exactly the same mindset.

Your life is about your vision, your hopes, your dreams and your destiny. When you are clear about your life’s purpose, including the type of man that you want, you will attract just that. This is also maybe the best relationship advice for women that one can give.

infographic_why_men_pull_away

2. Remain Unique

Many women make the mistake of trying to model themselves after the latest, hottest celebrity, believing that men want their women to look a certain way.

This is the biggest lie that the media sells! Not all men want a leggy blonde with big breasts and blue eyes. In fact, research shows that men actually prefer intelligence when it comes to looking for a serious relationship.

A study conducted by University of Cambridge Professor David Bainbridge found that men look for intelligence in a long-term partner. This is because it is an indication that she is capable of successfully raising children.

So wash off the fake tan and cancel the boob job operation. And instead, start working on becoming the best you that you can be!

Do some soul-searching and find out what your best qualities are, and then work on perfecting them. Trying to be someone else takes way too much energy; why not expend it on improving your true self, instead of trying to be what society says you should be.

Men admire this quality in women because it demonstrates strength and confidence. Believe it or not, real men don’t want a woman who is going to say, “How high?” whenever they say, “Jump.” Men want a woman that they can respect and who challenges them, someone that they won’t be able to treat as a doormat.

3. Get Over It

Women like to carry their baggage into the next relationship. This is one of the biggest mistakes that you can make. A man doesn’t want to have to take the blows that you wish you could have inflicted on your former partner. Neither does he want you to compare him to anyone else. If you are not yet over your last relationship, don’t be so hasty to rush into another.

When you stop allowing the noxious men from your past to haunt you, and allow yourself to believe that there are good men out there, you will begin to attract just that, good men! Remember, you are what you think! The more you think about something, the faster it will turn into reality.

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Check out this free video here to get him ‘addicted’ to you immediately!

4. Emotional Intelligence

Women are naturally emotional, we think with our feelings and not with our brains. Men absolutely hate this quality in a woman and often one main reason why men pull away in a relationship. Why? Because they think logically, and to them, an overly emotional woman is downright annoying!

As a woman, you should know how to monitor your emotions and manage them effectively.

When your emotional intelligence is at a high level your view of the world becomes clearer. You will begin to understand not just your own emotions, but you will also be able to tune into the emotions of those around you. That way you can then adjust your behavior, accordingly.

This type of woman is extremely attractive to a man. Sometimes men just want to be left alone. They don’t want to talk or do anything other than what they were doing when you decided to ask them what was wrong, and whether they want to talk. The moment you can understand a man’s emotional needs he will want to be around you more often.

5. Why Men Pull Away – Final Thoughts

You are not going to roll out of bed tomorrow and become the world’s most desirable woman. It is going to take a bit of effort on your part.

I recommend that you take a break from the dating game. Get yourself together by putting the things that we have discussed in this article into practice, instead of worrying why men pull away. You will see, before you know it, the man of your dreams will come sauntering into your life.

Further Reading: The best Tips on How to save Your Marriage from Divorce

How to understand Men – The 12 Golden Rules

Posted on by HelpwithMen

The 12 Rules – Guide to understanding Men

Almost all women seem to wonder at times how to understand men. Are you one of them? At the same token, have you ever watched those women who seem to have such an easy time being with men and wondered how they understand their male – partner so easily?

Relationships today are complicated and can be very confusing.

how-to-get-him-to-love-you

Men may want one thing, women may want another. When men speak, they use their language, which is not necessarily the language of women.

So how can women truly learn how to understand men, their motives, wants, and needs?

In this article we will give you 12 “golden rules” on understanding men. Go through those rules and male behavior will make a lot more sense to you, clearing the path for a healthier, more loving relationship between you and him.

How to understand Men – The 12 Golden Rules – Guide:

  1. Sexual Desire

  2. Capacity to Understand

  3. The Fear that holds them back

  4. Look at your Relationship

  5. Where you fit

  6. Let him know in clear, simple Terms what you want

  7. Be clear on what you will do if you don’t get what you want

  8. Be persistent

  9. Men hate Arguments and Confrontation

  10. Know his Boundaries

  11. If you’re not sure, ask

  12. Start the Conversation

Let’s go through those 12 rules on how to understand men together to make sure we cover everything.

1. Sexual Desire

Men are sexually driven. It’s in their DNA, it’s in their makeup, it’s who and what they are. The thought of sex crosses a man’s mind more often than you might think.

But does that mean that sex is all they want? Certainly not. Though sex will always be an important part of any relationship he builds with a woman, when a man chooses to settle down and commit to one woman, he’s looking for a lot more.
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2. Capacity to Understand

Men are often just as confused about women as we are about them. But when they embark on a new relationship, they want to do their best to understand that one woman.

Don’t be too quick to get upset if your new guy can’t read your mind and doesn’t instinctively know what you want. Give him a chance to learn about you and you’ll see that he’ll soon read you like a book.

Though men do want to get into a woman’s pants, when he’s serious about a relationship, he wants to get inside her mind, as well. He truly wants to learn and understand what she is all about.

Read also: How to know if a Guy really likes You

3. The Fear that holds them back

When women think of a committed relationship, they dream of all the great things that will come to their life. Companionship, love, security and a strong partnership with a good man are all part of that dream.

However, when men view a committed relationship they might see a bit of what you’re seeing, but they also see the restrictions, the demands and the huge sacrifice they’ll have to make to make you happy.

4. Look at your Relationship

You should look at yourself and the kind of relationship you are in. How often do you go out with him? Are you still struggling in how to understand men? Do you think you understand men in general? Are you happy together? There are always signs in a relationship when things are going bad or good.

Be very vigilant on the signals he’s giving so you know how men think. If he tries to fix fights as soon as possible, that means he’s still working hard for the relationship. On the other hand, if he seems distant, then it’s maybe time to leave him.

Take note of the little things, because they will amount to much larger things in the long run. Just be careful not to be too insecure because it just might be a cause of more confusion for him. Another important thing to know is that you shouldn’t demand anything more from your man than what you are willing to do yourself.

You can’t judge him for being addicted to sports if you cannot turn away from clothes or shoes. You should not demand him to work more if you aren’t enjoying your job. It’s all about giving love and respect to receiving them as well. Don’t break up with him for something that you haven’t given yourself. That is not the way to understand men and how men think.

5. Where you fit

Some women try and fit themselves into a slot that either doesn’t exist in a man or doesn’t quite fit. If a woman knows that she’s friends with a man and accepts that, that impresses the man. If she knows that the man is interested in her and knows the pace at which he wants to take the relationship, the relationship would progress at a rate that will allow the relationship to flourish best. It’s all about understanding yourself first to understand the dynamics of your other relationships.

6. Let him know in clear, simple Terms what you want

You wonder how to make a guy fall in love with you and if it will ever happen? Do not assume that he will somehow figure out what you want. Let him know the kind of commitment you want from him and why you expect it from him. And then leave him alone with that information and see what he says.

Resist the temptation to nag him about it, but casually bring it up later so that you know his position. Understanding men requires that you do not do it in a confrontational manner or he will not hear you…he will just hear nagging and he will shut you off. Quietly tell him what you want and then leave him alone for a while so that he can absorb the information.

7. Be clear on what you will do if you don’t get what you want

Resist the temptation to berate him if he is not ready for the commitment that you want, but also let him know what you can and cannot do at the commitment level that he is comfortable with. And it cannot be an idle threat and neither should you completely cut him off your life.

The ideal situation is if you can come and leave for periods of time so that he is well aware of what he has with you and he understands that he can lose you if he doesn’t commit to you. For you to do this successfully, you must be completely sure and committed to your cause of making him commit to you, and you must be willing to let him see how serious you are.

Do not play mind games with him but show him how serious you are about commitment. When you are with him treat him well and when you away keep in contact but have a life apart from him so he knows that you cannot give him a commitment while he doesn’t do the same for you.

8. How to understand Men – be persistent

Change takes time, and you will need to be willing to stay the course until he understands how serious you are. If you cave in then, you will teach him that you are not serious about commitment and change that attitude, later on, will be hard and you will probably have to take whatever commitment crumbs he throws your way.

I’m sure you have heard it said that ‘you teach people how to treat you’ and you need to teach him how to treat you as far as commitment goes. Otherwise he will learn that he gives you only the commitment level that he wants regardless of what you say you want. If you give in to your fears and insecurities, then commitment from him will elude you.

9. Men hate Arguments and Confrontation

For a man, conflict means that one person has to win, and the other has to lose. Any problem is better resolved when there is no emotion attached, which is not as threatening to them.

If emotions do become involved, a man will struggle to contain his emotions and so withdraw and become silent. They do not do this as a punishment. Rather they are desperately trying to keep themselves under control.

10. Know his Boundaries

There are certain things that your man simply doesn’t want you to talk about. Accept it. Don’t challenge him. If they’re touchy topics for him, simply leave it at that. You wouldn’t want him talking about your private issues either, would you?

I’m not pointing the finger at the ladies; all I know is that some women do tend to be more open and sharing about their relationships than men are. This can take some time for men to get used to.

11. If you’re not sure, ask

Are you still not quite sure how to understand men? Well, if you’re not sure, ask them … simply go and make the effort to ask your man about the issues.

This shows that at least you’re paying attention and that you’re sensitive to the man and the topics or issues he might find uncomfortable talking about. It might seem obvious, but more relationships have been broken up from misunderstandings and miscommunication than from anything else.

12. Start the Conversation

To prevent it from ever happening, simply tell your man what you wouldn’t want him to talk about with his friends. This will get you thinking about what you don’t like and will make you realize that he would probably feel the same way.

He will probably reciprocate and ask you the same thing in return. In case he doesn’t, simply ask him. If he doesn’t mind, then don’t worry. If he does have sensitive topics, then make sure you’re clear on what they are.

Final Thoughts on understanding Men

You need to know how to understand men if you want a healthy relationship. Once you do, you will live a life without having to cry or shout at him.

Figuring out how men think and getting into their psychology isn’t difficult, you just have to see with his eyes for a bit, and you’ll gain understanding. We are sure that before mentioned 12 “golden rules” will help you with this.

Read also: The best Tips on how to get a Man

How to make a Man Love you – Scientifically proven!

Posted on by HelpwithMen

How to make a Man love you – Understanding the Science of Attraction

Finding a great guy is already tough. But how to make a man love you, to “fall for you” is even more difficult to be answered. This statement couldn’t be more true. Just ask the thousands of women who are tired of being in a relationship that is one-sided – always feeling like they are the only ones who love and care.

how to make a man love you

Luckily, there are a number of things a women can do to make sure they are showered with constant love, desire and attention.

For this to happen to you with the man of your dreams, we will in this article:

  • Identify the secrets behind the science of attraction and then use them to make a man fall for you passionately
  • Provide tips that will help you get pass the dating stage while allowing you to enjoy the company of a man for years to come.

Enough said, let us get to the serious stuff. So, what’s the secret formula to grabbing the attention and heart of your man? Below is an easy guide that will uncover the formula on how to make a man love you.

  1. Secret Formula One: Get Emotionally In-Tune

  2. Increasing your Chances of connecting emotionally: remember the following Key- Do’s and Don’ts

  3. Secret Formula Two: Establish Yourself as a valuable Asset

1. Secret Formula One: Get Emotionally In-Tune

If you ever want your man to feel deep, intense, almost addictive love for you, then you better connect with him emotionally. For a man to yearn for a lasting, committed relationship with a woman he needs to feel an intense form of appeal known as emotional attraction.

Most women don’t understand this: they will dress sexy, cook great meals, logically thinking that this will convince their man to love them. But … this won’t work! Shift your mentality by focusing on the most important element of the puzzle, which is … emotion!

All this explains why….

  • You’ll see a woman who can make a guy go crazy for her. She knows absolutely perfectly how to make a guy like her. The guy will do absolutely anything to please her, including the most dumbest and embarrassing things.
  • On the hand, there is this woman who always does everything right and yet she’s never able to get the love and attention of her man.

What’s the major difference between these two women? The first one understands and implements the critical concept of becoming emotionally in-tune with a man. In the end, she’s able to make any man literally dance to her tunes.

The second one is totally clueless – she believes that working hard to please her man is the key to making him fall harder. Wrong move! The only thing that this does is make him think he’s got a perfect domestic partner – someone to take care of his dirty laundry.

2. Increasing your Chances of connecting emotionally: remember the following Key- Do’s and Don’ts

  • Do: Enjoy every moment with your partner. Men are naturally drawn to women who are fully present in the moment. They tend to dislike ladies who think about the next date, the next month or the coming future. Stop thinking of how many babies you want or may possibly have in the coming five years and enjoy what you have with him right now.
  • Don’t: Pester him on why he isn’t connecting with you emotionally. This will only turn him off.
  • Do: Try and show some interest in what he does. This will make it easier for him to open up to you and share his most deepest concerns.
  • Don’t: Talk to him about shallow things like your favorite character from “Keeping up with the Kardashians” or your friends’ Instagram page. There’s only so much female junk that a man can keep up with.
  • Don’t: Threaten to leave the relationship just to get your own way or get attention from your partner.
  • Do: Learn to express remorse when you’re wrong.
  • Don’t: Use sex as a means of building connection, instead let it be an expression of the already present connection.

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3. Secret Formula Two: Establish Yourself as a valuable Asset

Let us start out with a fact that many of us ignore: men are born hunters, they have the hunter instinct embedded deeply within their subconscious minds. This instinct can only be awakened when a woman presents herself as a special prize to be won.

While acting on this instinct, a man will chase you as hard as humanly possible. And when he gets you, he’ll feel absolutely lucky to have you around. Doing so is actually one of the best ways to make a guy fall in love with you.

How do You establish Yourself as a valuable Asset?

  • First and foremost, you need to portray competence, independence and capability. Avoid being or even appearing to be feeble and fragile, this is highly unattractive. Let your man understand that you’re able to support yourself by demonstrating confidence and willingness to tackle any problem.
  • Cultivate your intuitive side by refining your reasoning skills. In addition, you should portray open mindedness, show ability in making brilliant connections and present a receptive sense to the feelings of others.
  • Adhere to Dr. Fanelli’s law of attraction: find your own happiness first. Rather than exerting your efforts on trying to lure him and answering how to make a man love you, focus on making yourself happy and comfortable. According to Dr. Fanelli, an expert in love and relationship matters, focusing first on your happiness is a highly attractive trait.
  • Keep yourself youthful, feminine and attractive. This will bring out the competitive side of him. Men are particularly keen when they see their partners being desired by other men. Just the possibility of another guy eying you will make him appreciate you more. After all, he’s the lucky dog that gets to take you home.

How to make a Man love you – Final Thoughts on emotional Connections and Friendship

With those simple-to-follow tips, you no longer have to worry about how to get him to love you. These steps are even viable steps in getting a man to marry you at some point. All you need to do is to cultivate a deep emotional connection with your man and establish yourself as a valuable asset. Follow these two simple steps and watch him fall for you truly, madly and deeply.

One final tip: please work on building your friendship. Research shows that friendship is the best foundation of a perfect relationship. So, if you’re still wondering how to make a man love you then focus on being this man’s friend first. There’s nothing that beats the power of friendship.

It might be important to note that if a man doesn’t like you, there are others who probably would. Be yourself and never risk your values for his sake. If you focus on truly being happy, you’ll find a man who likes you for who you are.

Further Reading: The best Tips on How to make a Guy fall in Love with you and more Relationship Advice and Tips for Women

How to Get a Man to Marry you – Do’s and Don’ts

Posted on by HelpwithMen

How to Get a Man to Marry You: Make Him Want to Spend the Rest of His Life With You

When you genuinely love a man, the general path that you foresee is getting married, eventually. But just how to get a man to marry you? How do you actually go from being just ‘another girl’ to being the woman that he wants commit to?

how to get a man to marry you

What should you do to make him love you and want to spend the rest of his life with you?

While you shouldn’t necessarily change who you are, there are some things you need to do to create a stronger bond and to make your man commit.

 

Let’s Look at How to Get a Man to Marry You Without Pressuring Him

  1. Make sure he actually is the right man for you!

  2. Date two or more guys at a time

  3. Take care of yourself

  4. Show your affection

  5. Make references to happily married couples

  6. Ask a friend of yours to drop a hint

  7. Get his opinion on children

  8. Make him jealous

  9. Ask him!

1. Make Sure He Actually is the Right Man for You!

Before you even think of applying your feminine charms to get a man to marry you, you should be pretty certain that he is the best guy for you. It would be pointless to expend all your effort and time on trying to answer just how to get a man to marry you, if the guy you have in mind isn’t serious in spending the rest of his life with you.

how to get a man to marry you

2. Date Two or More Guys at a Time

Are you almost obsessing over the question of how to get a guy to marry you? Don’t make the mistake of concentrating all your efforts on one guy and then realize when it’s too late, that you can’t settle with him.

Instead, date at least two guys at a time. By dating two guys at a time, you get a chance to read the minds of two different guys. Compare them and decide which one matches your goals and aspirations for a marriage partner.

When a man is then really ready to take the relationship to the next level, give yourself to him exclusively.

Also Read: How to be a better Girlfriend

3. Take Care of Yourself

Attraction is very important in any relationship. While you should make it a top priority to commit to your relationship, this doesn’t mean you stop caring about yourself. It is important that you maintain yourself so as to keep him interested and the fire of love burning in your relationship.

Eat well, stay active, take time to visit family and friends and ensure you do things that you enjoy. Pursue your education and follow your career goals.

This way, your man will see you as someone who has their own goals and not as someone who is just consumed with him. Taking care of yourself also makes you feel and look your best. He wants to date that beautiful, confident and sexy woman you truly are. Therefore, do not neglect yourself. Make caring for you a top priority.

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4. Show Your Affection

Women want to be loved, kissed, hugged and be praised often by their partner. However, understand that your man wants the very same, believe me.

He wants to see you keeping those sensual touches, romantic gestures and loving demeanor alive every day, all day. Do whatever you have to do, including holding his hand in public.

In order to keep your man happy, tell him how much you love him and that he means the world to you. If he looks nice today, tell him. If he gets a promotion at work, tell him that you are very happy and proud of him.

Men are not mind readers. Even if you do care for him a lot, he won’t know until you spit it out. Men need reassurances. You can give him that with regular gestures and words of affection.

5. Make References to Happily Married Couples

Once you know for sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, one thing you can do to ease into the subject of getting married, is by commenting on couples both of you know and who are happily married.

Talk of relatives, friends or even some celebrities who are happily married. Comment on how devoted and loyal they seem, and how great they are for one another.

6. Ask a Friend of Yours to Drop a Hint

If you want him to marry you, you need to get a little creative. You can ask a close friend of yours to drop him a hint. Ask your friend to ask him what his true intentions are.

You could also have a few of your friends comment to him what a great couple the two of you would make. If he thinks that people see the two of you as a great couple, he will think of being married to you as a great plan.

7. Get His Opinion on Children

If your guy comments that he loves kids, wants to have some or that he wants to have kids with you, he is definitely on the right path. You just need to nudge him gently and he will soon pop the question.

8. Make Him Jealous

www.helpwithmen.com youtube channelThe idea is to show him that other men also desire you. This will make him completely fall for you. If he truly loves you and wants to marry you, he will ensure that the whole world knows you are his … and his alone.

 

9. Ask Him!

Have you tried all of the above, but nothing seems to get him to commit to you? Are you starting to literally obsess over the question of how to get a man to marry you? Do you even wonder if he might be suffering from some kind of commitment phobia?

Well, consider this. You are a modern girl and there is absolutely nothing wrong in you asking him to marry you. If you are convinced that he is the right man for you but he is just too shy, you can be bold enough and ask him!

How to Get a Man to Marry You – Things NOT to do!

  • Don’t give him an ultimatum

Avoid pressuring him too much or dropping too many deliberate hints. He may see you as a bother, and you don’t want this.

  • Don’t act out

As in any relationship, there will be tough times, quarrels and even fights. You will encounter frustrating experiences not only with your partner but also in  your personal life.

Men want to be with women who are understanding and can navigate through hard times in a marriage. Remember to always calm your emotions first.

By remaining calm and then expressing yourself, you will give room for the two of you to improve your connection and communication. If you are the one at fault, accept responsibility and apologize. This will teach him to also do the same when he is at fault.

  • Don’t expect him to be what he is not

Do not pressure your man to act like your sister’s husband or your friend’s husband just because they seem like a perfect couple. Instead, accept him for who he truly is. Never try to change him as he might start thinking that marrying you would be a huge mistake. You don’t want this to happen.

Conclusion on How to Get a Man to Marry You

If you love your man so much that you want to marry him, it is upon you to make things work. Also remember that some men may be very interested but are just too shy to ask.

By dropping certain smaller (and bigger) hints, you could actually lead him to propose to you. The above are some surefire tips to eventually make a man ask you to marry him.

Read here: About understanding men.com